(via osodioatodos)
korraspasm replied to your post: I… I just made the most epic pun text (well,…
POST IT
Done!
Times like these I’m glad I don’t have a legion of followers, because were I following myself, I’d judge me.
5 days ago - 
1
1 | Me: | Also I've decided I'm not a big fan of beef. I can't stomach stomach stomach stomach it. |
|---|---|
| Friend: | lol, why? That restricts you to chicken and turkey now |
| Me: | But I can gobble gobble turkey all day! As for chicken if I see someone pecking at it, I'll pluck it right off their plate! But beef man, I don't think I'll heifer enjoy it, I dairy say, it's udder bullshit. Moo over beef, it's a veal shame, and I know I'm milking it for all it's worth, but it's time to steak our trust in poultry |
| Friend: | that sir, was epic |
| Me: | Haha, dude, you don't know how now brown cow far I can go with this cattleclysmic group of puns. I know it isn't kine, and it churns me to say it, but I hoove to ox you, that girl whose picture you commented on, have you ever seen herbivore? Or were you just playing the stud? Because I know hell would Fresian over before she'd say she'd like to be t-boned by you. Maybe she's calf Russian, because only in Moscow would someone rumen-ate about riding a stranger like a bull. But they'd probably steer clear of people like her Angus. But I guess everyone is looking for greener pastures, even if these opportunites offal themselves in the form of cheesy lines. |
| Friend: | WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUCK. |
| Friend: | I couldn't finish it one go, it was such a mind-blown. |
| Friend: | I'm pretty sure I even missed some. |
| Friend: | I just read it again and discovered more. That was expertly constructed. |
| Me: | Manure easy to please! Buffalo yourself some credit, and Hindu time you'll stew on it for long enough Wagyu will mince through it after a few more reads. In bovine, you'll have seen through the cud, and you won't be mentally penned in. But I'll stop yakking on, let you hide your phone, and maintain the [the company he works for] brand. I don't want your bosses to see red over your graze not being on your work. To think, if I worked with you, they would have probably Taurus a new one! |
5 days ago - 8
8I… I just made the most epic pun text (well, texts) ever. I can’t even fathom how impressed I am with myself right now.
I might even post it, though it gets kind of vulgar (I was trying very hard to maintain a conversation whilst utilising every pun I could).
I can’t even comprehend just how amazing it was. I don’t even care that this is ridiculously self-congratulating. It was brilliant.
5 days ago - 2
2 I was defeating gravity with a poster that refused to fall off my wall, but then gravity won.
Also, killing Drowzee’s with ma Scyther.
(I actually don’t know why I’m posting this, but it makes me happy)
Good morning. Tom Gauld is posting his comics on Tumblr!
Considering the context of a conversation I had recently about the merits of Science Fiction and Fantasy, this is fantastic.
(via voristrip)
so i was on the Party City website and I came across this video and i almost cried laughing
this is actually terrifying
its like some sort of terrible cult
baman rave
“What do you want for your birthday, Harold?” “JUSTICE.”
“TOO BAD NOW ALL OF YOU GET DEAD PARENTS.”
“Wait wha—-“
“YOU PUT ON THE MASKS, YOU ACCEPT YOUR FATE”
Maybe they were already orphans before they put on the masks? Some sort of Batchild Soldiers Camp if you will.
(via theelectrichorseman)
I am a frequent victim of the ‘Why am I watching this?’ - ‘I must keep watching’ paradox.
